3 Mistakes that KILLED Star Wars: Attack of the Clones (Writing Advice)

TL;DR: “Attack of the Clones” suffers from three major writing mistakes: poor dialogue that detracts from character interactions, poor pacing that fails to build suspense, and rushed emotional reactions that undermine character development. While the movie has entertaining moments, these issues hinder its storytelling and affect the believability of the romance between Anakin and Padmé.

Introduction

Hello everyone! My name is Brandon McNalty, and I am the author of “The Half Murders.” Today, we’re diving into a critical examination of “Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones.” While this film has its moments of entertainment, it also features some glaring writing mistakes that significantly hurt its overall impact. Let’s explore three major issues that stand out and how they affect the story.

A Silver Lining

Before we delve into the criticisms, it’s worth noting that “Attack of the Clones” isn’t a total failure. Unlike “The Phantom Menace,” which many consider a complete disaster, “Attack of the Clones” has its redeeming qualities. The last 45 minutes are particularly enjoyable, filled with action and excitement that feel true to the spirit of “Star Wars.” However, the first hour and a half leaves much to be desired.

1. Bad Dialogue

One of the most criticized aspects of “Attack of the Clones” is its dialogue. Characters often speak in a way that feels forced and unnatural, reminiscent of poorly translated video game scripts. This becomes painfully evident in scenes featuring Anakin Skywalker.

For instance, during the chase scene in the bar, Anakin repeatedly addresses Obi-Wan as “Master” in a manner that feels excessive and absurd:

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“Sorry, Master.”
“Yes, Master.”
“I try, Master.”
“Why do I get the feeling you’re going to be the death of me?”
“Don’t say that, Master.”

Repetitions like this distract viewers from the unfolding action, breaking immersion. The characters’ awkwardness in dialogue fails to resonate with the audience, making it hard to connect with their experiences.

Anakin’s infamous “I don’t like sand” speech serves as another striking example. Many viewers find his lines cringeworthy, and while some may defend them as reflective of his troubled upbringing and social awkwardness, the reality is that such awkwardness should yield real consequences in interactions with Padmé. Rather than being charmed, she should react with surprise or even discomfort.

To compare, consider “Spider-Man 2,” where Peter Parker’s awkwardness around Mary Jane is met with genuine reactions that add depth and tension to their relationship. When Peter tries to impress her with poetry, she doesn’t respond positively, illustrating the realistic development of character relationships.

2. Poor Pacing

While the final act of “Attack of the Clones” excels in pacing, the first two acts suffer from significant issues. The film opens with an intriguing assassination plot, introducing a sense of mystery. However, as the story progresses, the pacing becomes uneven and disjointed.

The film splits into two distinct plotlines:
1. Obi-Wan’s detective work to uncover the bounty hunter.
2. Anakin acting as Padmé’s bodyguard.

Poetry: Turning Words into Worlds and Whims

What Poetry Feels Like

In theory, this dual narrative should create suspense, akin to lighting two fuses that eventually converge in an explosive climax. Unfortunately, Anakin’s plotline lacks the necessary tension. Unlike the thrilling chase sequences in “The Empire Strikes Back,” Anakin and Padmé’s scenes feel safe and stagnant, lacking the urgency needed to keep the audience engaged.

Instead of interspersing thrilling moments with romantic scenes, the movie opts for a monotonous sequence of romantic exchanges, followed by a sudden shift to Anakin’s rescue mission. This separation leads to a disjointed experience that fails to create a compelling connection between the two story arcs.

To improve this, the film could have had Anakin and Padmé arrive on Tatooine much earlier, allowing for shared experiences of danger and conflict. Witnessing characters support each other through adversity would build a stronger foundation for their relationship, rather than relying on awkward romantic dialogues.

3. Rushed Reactions

The third major issue in “Attack of the Clones” is the rushed emotional reactions of its characters. Events unfold so quickly that there’s little room for genuine emotional exploration. Anakin’s response to his mother’s death exemplifies this flaw.

After a brief reunion, Anakin discovers his mother’s fate and, in a fit of rage, slaughters the Tusken Raiders. This swift transition from grief to violence feels unearned, as there’s no time for the audience to process Anakin’s emotional turmoil. His actions come across more as a plot device than a deeply felt reaction.

Imagine a scenario where Anakin finds his mother alive but critically injured. He attempts to save her, only to watch her die in his arms. This would allow for a more profound exploration of his grief and anger. The subsequent internal conflict about seeking revenge would add depth to his character and create a more compelling narrative.

In the following scene where Anakin confesses his actions to Padmé, her reaction is equally problematic. Instead of expressing horror or disgust at the murder of innocent beings, Padmé responds with a dismissive line, “To be angry is to be human.” This trivializes Anakin’s horrific act and diminishes the gravity of the moment.

A more effective approach would involve Padmé initially reacting with shock and revulsion, followed by a more nuanced exploration of her feelings later in the story. This would lend weight to Anakin’s internal struggle, making his descent into darkness more impactful.

Conclusion

In summary, “Attack of the Clones” falters due to poor dialogue, pacing issues, and rushed emotional reactions that fail to resonate with audiences. While the movie succeeds in some areas, the romantic subplot feels disjointed and unconvincing, detracting from the overall experience.

The potential for an engaging story about two people trapped by their circumstances is overshadowed by these missteps. It’s a shame because the groundwork is there; it just needed a more thoughtful approach to dialogue, pacing, and character development.

Question of the Day

What frustrated you most about “Attack of the Clones” or the Star Wars prequel trilogy in general? Let us know in the comments below!

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