Coty J Schwabe

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baptism

Witnessing New Life: Of Rings and Water

Posted on June 30, 2023January 3, 2025 by cotyschwabe
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A few weeks ago, my wife and I baptized a couple at our church.

It’s a phenomenal experience and I love doing it every single time I have the opportunity.

It’s like the ultimate high from the Holy Spirit when you put someone under the water, and then pull them back up, knowing you were a part of God’s work and an important milestone in their walk towards faith.

I always walk away from it drenched in both water AND the Spirit.

But with this couple, there was a catch:

They weren’t married.

And in case you didn’t know, sleeping together outside of marriage is kind of a sin. (Acts 15:20; 1 Corinthians 5:1; 6:13, 18; 10:8; 2 Corinthians 12:21; Galatians 5:19; Ephesians 5:3; Colossians 3:5; 1 Thessalonians 4:3; Jude 7)

Here’s how I found out:

Before every baptism, we pray for the people we’re baptizing that day.

Many of the times, we don’t know these folks personally —

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They’re either new to the church or aren’t attending a small group (aka a Bible study) yet.

While I was talking to this couple — just kind of learning how they found the church and their backstory and stuff — I asked them if they were married, and they replied, “no.”

Then I asked if they were living together.

This time, “yes.”

we're all just wanderers in the end
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I think you can draw the implication from my aforementioned statements.

Here’s the funny thing:

Normally, I don’t get into the whole “you shouldn’t have sex outside of marriage” conversation with people I don’t know, unless they bring it up or it’s in premarital counseling (which my wife and I do).

But that day, I felt the Holy Spirit telling me to ask, and I kind of blurted it out before I could stop myself.

Before I advance, I’d like to clarify, that, when I told them that it was a sin to being doing so, it wasn’t out of condemnation, or guilt…

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I was merely sharing Biblical doctrine.

And it was from a place of empathy because…

My wife and I had been in the same boat years before!

When I met my wife, I wasn’t Christian. She “technically” was but lived a very worldly, very secular lifestyle of drinking and partying (while occasionally attending her father’s church on Sunday… hungover).

Sound like anyone you know?

(Please don’t tell me who. Unless you want me to pray for them. Then go ahead and I will.)

Eventually, my wife started taking church seriously again, and got me to go, too. I got saved and she rededicated her life to Christ while we were still living together.

Then, one night, while attending a young adult weekend service, a pastor told us point blank that we were living in sin, and that, while God will always love us, He couldn’t bless sin.

He said we needed to either:

A) separate (physically)
or
B) get married

That conversation was the straw that broke the camel’s back (or whatever other cliched doggerel you wish to use to indicate a turning point).

Side Note:

Maybe for some, this would have come across as judgmental or harsh…

…but I’m one of those people that needs to hear something directly, as opposed to sugarcoated in order for it to sink in.

In other words: I needed to hear direct for it to stick.

We were set to be married later that year (2008), but decided to get married just a few weeks later in February (on Valentine’s Day).

And we did so. We mosied on down to the courthouse and I put a ring on it (’cause I liked it).

No more sexual impurity.

Now back to that couple.

Telling someone that what they’re doing is wrong in the sight of God is generally not an easy conversation to have. Especially one centered around this particular topic.

And as the words tumbled out of my mouth, I felt my stomach churn.

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‘They’re going to think I’m judging them,’ I thought. ‘That I’m some kind of Holier-than-Thou kinda person.’

But guess what?

They didn’t.

In fact, the girlfriend looked at him, then told me that they had just been talking about that very subject before they had arrived and had both agreed to change their living situation in order to show God that they cared about His decrees.

They wanted to do the right thing. And I respected that.

And me bringing it up unprompted solidified their decision to do so.

What this showed me was that we, as Christians, must be striving for sanctification at all times. Sadly, it’s a lifelong pursuit.

We must also not ignore the promptings of the Holy Spirit to talk to people or pray for them or sacrifice for them.

Ignoring the work that God wants us to do, means being disobedient to our loving Father, who, not only cares about us, but the people around us as well.

Sure-

We won’t get it right every time. We mess up and sin; or we ignore promptings of the Holy Spirit.

But we should aim to get it right as much as possible so that we can stand before God and hear Him say, “well done, good and faithful servant!”

The fact that the couple had spoken about it beforehand, and I confirmed it — having never met them before and almost never talking about that subject with random people — is proof of the Holy Spirit at work.

So why the title? What’s with the “New Life” moniker?

Honestly, I just thought it was a catchy title.

But thinking on it now; it makes more sense.

Baptism really is an outward symbol of a new life in Christ. It’s like saying to the world that you are dying to your old self, and you’re being reborn in the image of Christ and filled with the Holy Spirit.

See also  Father’s Day, Christmas, and Every Other Holiday in Between

As for the rings?

That guy just proposed to his girlfriend today at church.

He texted me a few days ago to let me know he’d gotten a ring and then today, in between services, he got down on one knee, and proposed to her right there in the foyer in front of everyone.

It was awkward and kinda clumsy but beautiful. I got to record it for him.

We’ll be doing their premarital counseling shortly before they get married.

And think about it:

What is marriage (especially the ring itself!) if not a symbol to the world that you are no longer alone or available? That you have declared one person to be the person you will be with until one of you perishes off the face of the Earth?

As Genesis 2:24 puts it: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”

I guess when I sat down to write this, I had an intention of tying it all together a little more… neatly.

However, it seems that my writing always tends to get away from me like a unleashed dog chasing a wandering cat.

It’s been amazing to watch this couple mature so much in such a short time that it’s inspired me to stay up writing this entry late at night (11:31pm).

I should probably go now. I’ve got work in the morning, and I think my brain’s just about to flatline so I guess I’ll just end the post right h —

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Related posts:

  1. Father’s Day, Christmas, and Every Other Holiday in Between
  2. Discovering Spiritual Growth: Pruning the Branches and Burning the Ships
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Hello. My name is Coty and this is my site. I'm an author who used to paint, but now is focused on words and making all kinds of unique books. I love God, my wife, my kids, and coffee - not necessarily in that order. Most of the posts on this site are informational. Thank you for stopping by.

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